Moments aren't wasted upon me. As my friend's Jamaican grandmother used to say, I consider and consider. And the uncharacteristically snowy Southern winter of the past month has given me more than a few extra moments to do things I normally put off for another day. I told a friend that I'd need to be in for at least four to five days before I'd utter the words cabin fever because I spend so much time running that I often wish for time to do things around the house and even just take a nap or sleep in. I'm guilty of hopping out of bed before 7 AM on the weekends because I want to take advantage of my entire day and the reality is, many times, what I'm up for pales in comparison to how I'd feel if I allowed myself a the extra sleep I often daydream about. We're so busy. ... And we're even busier convincing ourselves that we're more interesting when we hype busy. No. Busy doesn't equal productivity or living, for that matter. I remember my days as a newspaper journalist when I was constantly on-call for the small town newspaper where I was a beat reporter. I'd have to get up at 2 AM and race to a fire in frigid winter temps. Some days I'd work from 8 AM until Midnight in the newsroom on a budget story. I was passionate about my pursuit but I didn't always enjoy it. In my 20's and early 30's, I was constantly moving because I was trying to get somewhere. I was trying to get to where I am today. Sure, there's more to come, but reaching my career goal was pivotal for me and made me turn my attention to my quality of life. I finally achieved this thing — being a magazine editor — that I'd been thinking of and obsessing over since I was 10 years old. Ha. That sounds funny, but it's true. I've cataloged in other posts how I contorted myself and my life along the way to be fit for the post and the time. And so now, I'm asking myself: What next?
Well, the first thing is to measure myself by myself. A few weeks ago, I was plotting something out and in the midst of my thoughts bouncing, God asked me my motivation. Specifically, He asked me if I was trying to impress others or Him. It was a major moment. If you ever need to put things into perspective, immediately, ask yourself that question. Are you doing because others are doing or because you feel compelled and can reason your doing? Are you giving because others are giving or because you feel compelled and can reason your giving? Are you going because others are going or because you feel compelled ... You get where I'm coming from. And no I don't mean the whimsical moments that we all take. I'm talking about the major life considerations and moves that we're making. Are they intentional and can you reason them?
I digress.
This week of working in solitude in my home office and being home-bound in the evenings has given me plenty of time, and reaffirmed for me just how precious time is. Time, uncommitted, is not a bad thing. Because even the busiest of times can filled with moments wasted.
